Networking.
We all know it’s essential, but few of us can claim genuine enthusiasm when faced with such a daunting task.
It can feel painfully forced. We are often encouraged to “collect” as many contacts as possible, and appearing impressive has become more important than being genuinely interesting.
Especially for young people, networking advice and LinkedIn culture can push transactional friendliness or calculated socialising – which is ultimately painful for both parties. People can detect forced networking instantly. Rehearsed questions, forced favours, and performative ambition are immediately obvious.
Genuine connection goes a lot further. So, instead of gritting your teeth and bounding into a barrage of self-promotion, here are some tips to network naturally and make a good impression.
1. Ask good questions
Never ask a question for the sake of making yourself look good. Showing off your knowledge of a complex, niche field which doesn’t relate to the person you’re talking to is a no-no. It’s too obvious, for starters, and there’s nothing worse than asking a convoluted question and receiving an equally technical response you have to pretend to understand.
Instead of trying to be impressive, be genuinely curious – people love to talk about their interests and their experience in their industry. Ask them where they think their industry is headed, or what the biggest challenges and opportunities are. Let them do the talking, and then your follow-up questions can draw out any specific points you think are interesting.
2. Be thoughtful: listen properly
Don’t just shoehorn in your question and then let your mind wander elsewhere. It goes without saying that listening to people’s responses is just as important as asking good questions. Pick up on details and ask follow up questions on any new concepts. Demonstrating that you are keen to find out things is more valuable than pretending you know everything already, and insightful questions can subtly illustrate your intelligence.
3. Quality over quantity
500+ connections on LinkedIn might feel like the end goal, but endless digital accumulation doesn’t actually mean anything (although LinkedIn is a great resource for specific things). Making a small number of meaningful in-person encounters is more valuable.
At networking events, this applies too – don’t always be sniffing out the next conversation, or have your eye on the senior member of staff you’re angling to chat to. Making people feel like a placeholder is insulting. Let them feel like their time is being well spent and that you’re invested in and enthusiastic about the conversation.
4. Share ideas, not qualifications
Instead of reciting your achievements, make observations about what the person you are talking to is telling you. Your own interests and ideas are what make you stand out, and showing that you can come up with spontaneous thoughts whilst reacting to a conversation on a new topic is a great quality to demonstrate.
5. Find a personal touch
People often connect more naturally through hobbies and interests than professional observations. I wouldn’t advise jumping straight in with this, but when you feel it’s appropriate you can steer the conversation towards TV, films, books – anything that lets both of you share a bit of real personality. It can allow the conversation to breathe a bit, and people often like to let their brains switch off occasionally at a long event.
6. Follow up properly
Following up with people is a good way of making sure they remember your interaction. However, there are a few things to avoid: don’t be overly formal, and don’t immediately ask for something. Instead, you might offer your help on a task, as being proactive is more appreciated than asking for a favour.
When referencing your conversation, be specific: follow up on a topic you talked about or an idea you discussed. Generic statements such as ‘I enjoyed our conversation’ are impersonal and make it harder for them to remember who you are.
Key takeaway
Whilst the word ‘networking’ might strike a cord of fear for some of us, it doesn’t have to be painful or forced. The above tips will hopefully help you to take a more genuine, relaxed approach to networking. Remember, conversations that people enjoy are always the most memorable.
India Jordan Jones is a final-year undergraduate student at the University of Oxford, reading English Language and Literature. She is interested in a career in consulting or commercial law and passionate about sustainability and energy matters in business.
Image: DALL-E
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